the preschool diet

Hi ladies, sorry it has been so long...I have not really been changing in the past few months, so I have nothing really interesting to say. It is nice to read all your posts and I am still over here cheering you on. Like your quiet little cheerleader...sorry I am not more vocal. Anyway, thought this was cute and worth sharing...
Keep up the work ladies!

Remember how light you were and the boundless energy you had as a 3-and
4-year-old? All your baby fat was gone, your skin was smooth and your head
was full of shiny hair and gum. The key to recapturing that ideal body
type is to
once again eat like a preschooler.

It works like this:

For breakfast, you have a small Barney-bowl full of Cheerios with 2 percent
milk, four banana slices on the side and a sippy cup of orange juice.
Using a spoon with a blue rubber handle, eat half the cereal and dribble
the rest of it down your chin and onto your shirt.
Take two big sips of juice; try to gargle with it and then laugh
convulsively, causing the juice to shoot out your nose. Mash the banana
slices into the table with your fingers.

Lunch is a Bob-The-Builder bowl of Spaghetti-Os (fortified with
calcium), eight green beans and a cup-with-lid- and-straw full of milk.
Chewing the spoon with the red rubber handle, you eat the calcium
fortified Spaghetti-Os with your hands. Wipe excess sauce from your
hands onto your pants and make bubbles in your milk. Eat two and a half
green beans and then try to force the rest
into the straw. Blow with all your might into the green-bean-stuffed straw.

Your mid-afternoon snack can be any two of the following: Goldfish
crackers, raisins, grapes (cut into eighths to avoid choking) or string
cheese. You may have one sippy cup of half apple juice, half water. Eat
crackers, raisins, grapes, or cheese by tossing handfuls of them into
the air and seeing how many you can catch with your mouth. Grind
whatever you don't catch into the carpet
with your shoe.

Dinner consists of macaroni and cheese, peas and applesauce. Refuse to
eat your macaroni and cheese with only one utensil; instead use both a
fork and a spoon. Alternate bites, first using the fork in your right
hand and then using the spoon in your left. Eat the applesauce only with
the fork, dripping most of it through the fork prongs and onto your lap.
Insert peas into nose.

The key to the Preschooler Diet is not what you eat but, rather, that
most of the food on your plate ends up on the floor instead of in your
stomach. But as with any diet, food is only part of the answer; you also
have to exercise.

Like a preschooler.

This includes riding your trike in the driveway, jumping on the couch,
pretending everything is a sword, spinning until you fall down and crying.

Of course, first consult your physician to ensure that the Preschooler
Diet is appropriate for you. If it's not, you might have to consider the
even more radical and rapid weight-loss regimen of the Toddler Diet.