Monday, June 04, 2007

Weighing in (and other things)

So. I gained a pound two weeks ago, right?

I thought "Oh, it's water weight. It's my 'time' and it'll be gone next week."

Nope.

It stayed, and brought three of its closest friends.

I don't know how I gained four pounds in two weeks, other than a nibble here, a nibble there, and a general feeling of malaise.

But I'm back on track now. I'm back to moving more, even if it means all I have time for is parking at the end of the Wal Mart parking lot or an extra trip around the store. I'm back to focusing on putting more "good stuff" in to my body, and less processed junk.

On another, slightly related note:

I've noticed that my five-year-old daughter has talked a lot lately about being "thin." I don't know where this is coming from, honestly, because 1. I don't talk that way about myself or anyone else, and 2. I try my best not to talk about my weight in front of her. Yes, she's gone to a couple of WW meetings with me, several months ago, but she never stays in the room with me (we meet at a church gym) during the lecture - she's always playing in the hall.

She asked me once, about a year ago, why I went to WW. I told her it was because I didn't take care of myself when I was younger, and it caused me to not be healthy. But now, I was doing things to make myself healthier - eating better and exercising.

And that's what I tell her now, when we go to eat fast food and I order her fruit and milk with her kids meal instead of fries and Sprite - that we need to eat better so our bodies can be healthy. Those fries and Sprite are "sometimes" foods.

How do we, as parents, and parents of girls in particular, keep the focus on "health" and not "thinness?" She told me the other day that she was glad to be thin, and I told her that it was more important to be healthy - because there are plenty of thin people who aren't healthy, and plenty of people who may not be considered "thin" but take good care of themselves.

Any ideas on how to refocus her on health, and not a body size? I'm slightly panicking here, and hoping it isn't all my fault!

4 comments:

Lisa said...

I don't think it's anything you did, and I think you're handling it the right way already. My rail-thin niece came home one day and said that other girls told her she should lose some weight (seriously, where? The kid is like 2% body fat) and she went off on a being thin kick. The good news: it passed. The frustrating news: it took a couple months.

During those couple months, however, her mom concentrated on teaching her about good nutrition while *seeming* to support her daughter's quest. Will only eat salad for dinner? Then it's spinach salad (iron, antioxidants) with boiled eggs and chicken (protein) and other items mixed in, with an explanation of the allocation of calories between fat, protein and carbohydrates, and the need for fat in the diet.

My niece didn't lose any weight but learned a lot about proper nutrition. Eventually she figured out that the other girls in her class were just being mean.

For my two cents, I think you are doing exactly the right thing by emphasizing the need for health over appearance. (That's also a pretty good lesson to learn about skin care and sunshine/tanning).

Melissa said...

Thanks Lisa, for the vote of confidence! When Anna Marie talks about exercise, I tell her that when she plays, that is exercise - like yesterday, when she rode her bike to a local park (four blocks away) and then she ran around the track at the park a couple times (she's training for a community "race" this month) and walked home. The bonus part - I got in some exercise too, going with her!

I'm really trying to instill those lessons in her before she goes to school, because, yeah, I know how mean kids can be!

Mom2the6Rs said...

First of all, Melissa, I love, love, love how you said "It stayed, and brought three of its closest friends." Even my hubby cracke up at that line.

Second of all, don't panic. Even if you never had to focus on your weight, even if you did your darndest to hide that fact from your daughter, she is a young girl in America and she has eyeballs and a brain and she is going to notice and talk about things like thin, fat, ugly, pretty, etc....it just means she is normal.

I think because you are so conscience of your communication to her on this subject is insurance that you are doing things right.

My 5 kids know that I have been battling weight like a night would battle a dragon. They are here to cheer me on and tell me that I am the skinniest mom on the planet. Of course I am not, but it is their way of loving on me. Yes, my daughters dote on themselves in front of the mirror and my 10 year old "knows" she has a slim figure and will comment on that, but my main concern is that they like who they are.

My 2 cents.
Jules

Chickadeeva said...

Melissa,

My daughter is 1/2 French, 1/2 American. What does that have to do with body weight? Everything.

Culturally and physically, the French are lighter eaters and lighter boned. This is a fact I had to come to when I lived there. I couldn't find many attractive outfits in the retail stores that would fit my size 12 butt.

Of course, when there were sales, all that was left were the big sizes, so that was nice - but my point is -

My daughter is 'thin' for here. She's not for France. She worries sometimes about being too thin, and I tell her that she's perfect...but when she looks at her American play friends who are literally 25 lbs more than she is - its hard to explain.

The key is exactly what you've done. Health, nutrition and exercise are the simple building blocks of a long life. As long as you focus on that you're golden.

Why so simple, yet so hard?

Culture. Our culture of consumerism and the affirmation we feel when we see others consume is a big part of who we are as an eating public. That odd feeling of unease that we feel in life can often be subsided by a consumption of some sort - binge eating, binge buying, binge gossipping - whatever gets us off.

We need to focus on creating a culture within our homes that focuses just on those basics - eating well, moving well and living well. You, and every woman on this blog with kids in her life are making this change. Keep it up!