I am trying to gage if I am the only one that does this. Do any of you feel like people are watching you eat and thinking that you shouldn't be eating, or feel the need to eat in private?
I am having a hard time getting over this aspect. I still feel people are watching me eat, even when I am only eating 3-4 oz of food. It stems from my youth with people telling me that I shouldn't eat that or I shouldn't have this. I am just wondering if others have this problem, and if it went away when they lost most of the weight. I feel like it is getting easier, but still hard.
By the way I am almost at 90 pounds lost. YEAH. It feels really good, yet I have a lot to go yet.
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8 comments:
Kris:
I have ALWAYS felt like that, even when I've been thin. Think about it though: usually you're NOT eating in public so it just magnifies any insecurities you've got. I've solved this for myself by making sure that I'm eating well in front of others - then even if they are watching me, so what? It's hard to fault healthy eating.
There is a certain shamelessness about the French - if it is eating sauces and butters and still being thin or what, I don't know, but I think your sassy should also smooth over to your eating in public.
If you're eating - EAT IT HAPPILY!
You are a model of physical wellness and you should show off your ability to eat healthy, or even splurge - in PUBLIC. Its not the same thing as flashing your girls at Mardi Gras - no shame should be attached!
So, I encourage you - go out and eat something in public, and REVEL IN IT! Show other that you enjoy food and have a healthy relationship with it! :-)
You are a food ambassador!
I would rather walk around Mardi Gras in my birthday suit than eat anything unhealthy in public. I am a fairly shameless person in general (meaning I am not particularly modest and do not mind being the focal point of a crowd) but food is one of those hangups for me too, Kris.
But WOW, if I lost 90 pounds, I might feel a little differently! ;)
I'm with Elicia. ENJOY your food. If you feel shame, ignore it. In time the old shame habit will be replaced with a new relationship with food. The people who are going to judge you for what you are putting in your mouth are going to do so regardless of what it is. It's what those kinds of people do. They can't help themselves. So, know in your heart you are making healthier choices, changing your body and your heart, and let the judgers do what they do. It's poison in their souls, not yours.
I used to do a lot of my major eating alone and now I do find that if I want to have a protein bar because I am ravenous before bedtime, I tend to do it without letting my husband see. I guess I can't get past that thing when I am afraid of what others are going to think. They call it spotlight syndrome and it's when I think that everything that I do that is stupid or lame or whatever, everyone else is focused on, including overindulging. I try to tell myself now, get over it. They are not putting me under a microscope. I am the only one doing that. And when it comes to eating, I am the only one that I am accountable to because no one else has to carry the fries after I have eaten them. Only I do.
I think it has something to do with people making value statements about certain foods. If people see a fat girl eating a salad, they probably thinks she needs it in a condescending way. If a fat girl eats a burger or something, people will associate things like "pig, obesity, gluttony" or other hurtful things. I know I shouldn't feel bad about eating in public, but I do, because people are putting value judgments against what I am doing. What I do know is that they would NEVER do this to a thin gal. You see Nicole Richie eating ice-cream all the time and no one calls her out on it, but if a big girl did it...
Freedom from shame and fear of judgment is what we get when we really understand the unity of humanity in Christ.
It's wrong to assume people around you are thinking negative things. That's mind-reading, and most often false. We project our worst fears on others, and learn to add their fears to us.
I sincerely pray that we'll all overcome fear in any form and shine in the freedom of TRUTH.
Overcoming fear is one of my recurring themes in my prayer life this year. So I really appreciate that prayer on all of our behalf.
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