For the past couple of days, I have felt FAT. And although the picture to the left (from last weekend) isn't too bad, in some of the others my legs are so flabby that they look like they belong to someone else. And my belly? It's back. Or at least more noticeable.I am usually one of the most secure people you will meet on any given day. I'm not perfect, and I'd like to lose a few pounds, but normally I love my body. My flaws? They just add character. Dimensions a little off? Makes me unique. I've made peace with the fact that I never photograph well compared to real life and love myself in person, if not in pictures.
But for the past few days I've felt down about myself, and I've felt down about my body. I've been getting hung up on the places that I want to be toned, the jiggly bits that I wish would just go away, and the imperfections that make me what I consider to be less than ideal. To top it all off, I have a sneaking suspicion that I may have a stress fracture in my left leg so I'm laying off the hard running for a little while so I don't do some real damage. In short, though, I feel unattractive, unbeautiful, and unhealthy. That may be the bad body image trifecta.
So tell me, now that I'm grounded from running for the present, what do you do when you don't love yourself as much as you should? What cheers you up and brings you back to having the resolve to improve but without the disgust at your current state? I'm looking for ideas here, ladies...
3 comments:
Lisa,
Let me use my experience in France to chime in here. In France, I saw women of every shape, size, color and social status treated like the beauty God created her - when she knew it.
Men (and) women innately genuflected when they saw the energy coming from a WOAH-man. There was a respect for the feminine that I'd never experienced before coming from my pioneering, little house on the prairie, modest protestant background.
How did I take this observation and make it mine? It took me some time, but, I watched the men and women respond to different attitudes, postures, dresses; and I realized that there is a social agreement going on in these situations.
Julie Paine and I call it - "Doing our community service" when we are dressed lovely, behaving nicely and generally being FABULOUS".
In order for me to do this service, I have to be able to stand naked in a mirror and go - Hey Me!
Surf any porn sites and you'll find there are images for any type of crazy thing you can think of. MEN LOVE WOMEN. WOMEN LOVE WOMEN. The female body - in any shape or form is simply MIRACULOUS.
You are miraculous. I am miraculous. My extra fat on my thighs? AC/DC wrote an anthem about them - "Knocking me out with those American thighs" - They are awesome!
Fat? Flab? Guess what - it is beautiful, amazing and miraculous the way it decides to settle on a woman, on her butt, on her hips, on her boobs....nothing short of a miracle.
Oh Lisa! You sound so disheartened, and you were sooo hard on yourself! Girlfriend, you have the figure that most women covet. You are a beautiful woman.
We are our own worst critics, I am the worst at that. But you know what? I agree with Elicia. The female body is a beautiful form. And everyone has something that they want to change about themselves, EVERYONE.
Let me tell you about this GORGEOUS, tall, slender, personal trainer at the Y. She likes her body, but says that her hips are too wide. If you saw her, you honestly would not believe it. She is perfectly proportioned and probably wears a size 4!
We truly are our own worst critics. You need to go and treat yourself. Put on your favorite outfit, go out with the girls, and do something fun beautiful girl, will you?!
Imagine yourself as a crinkly 89 year old lady, looking at that very photo of yourself running, maybe showing one of your grandchildren...what will be going through your mind then? "Wow, I was quite a looker, wasn't I? Wish my thighs would take me places like they did back in the good old days"...it is all a matter of perspective and facing reality with a good dose of...well...reality. Beauty is as beauty does...acknowledge your own beauty, bask in all it's imperfections, and get on with the getting on.
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