Hello, my name is Melissa

And I am a slacker blogger.

Well, not on my own blog - but I put off coming here for a couple of weeks (like, around CHRISTMAS!) and it's like skipping church - the longer you stay gone, the easier it is to stay out.

Well. Enough of my "sermonizing."

When last we spoke, it was the Christmas holidays and I was determined to maintain.

I think I ended up with a net gain of half a pound, but I guess that wasn't too bad.

In February, though, I realized that the Weight Watchers "Flex" plan was no longer working for me - I don't know if I was getting complacent, or spending too many POINTS on junk, but I was at a virtual standstill for MONTHS - so I switched to CORE.

One of the best decisions I've ever made.

I'm not penalized for eating fruit! Or drinking fat free dairy! Or eating whole grain rice or pasta!

(Well, as long as I only eat the pasta, or potatoes, or rice once a day. I can usually handle that.)

I'm eating way, way less junk now. I'm cooking better meals at home. And I'm feeling "freer" about my choices.

I've also lost another 10 lbs. since Christmas, to put me at 146.5 (a total of 90.5).

My three-year WW anniversary is coming up in a few weeks, and it kinda bums me out that I haven't lost my 100 lbs. yet. But I keep reminding myself that 90 lbs. is nothing to sneeze at, and that the longer it takes me to lose it, the more chance there is that I'll keep it off.

So, I'm sorry to have stayed away so long - I've been reading, even if I haven't always commented - and I'm glad to hear from those who are keepin' on keepin' on!

Yay for water!

Thanks (in part) to all the water reminders this week, I lost half a pound this week!

That might not sound like much, but after gaining two pounds in two weeks, it's great.

I've already had two glasses this morning, by the way!

Not maintaining at all!

Ok, so I gained another 1.5 pounds this week! What is wrong with me?

(And no, I'm not pregnant. I know that's the next question my mom is going to ask when she finds out I've gained two pounds over the past two weeks.)

Know what I realized last night? Well, other than I get way too depressed after a bad weigh in? That I didn't drink my water this week. I can't say that was the only reason I gained weight, but I can say that staying hydrated goes a long way to helping with correct body functioning (and perhaps weight-loss). It's just so hard to drink water when it's cold outside! My body is screaming for coffee and hot cocoa!

I did get an email from someone recommending this article on negative-calorie foods. It's pretty much stuff we already know, like eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, but I thought y'all might find it interesting anyway.

Guess I'd better get busy on that water!

Holiday checkin

Well, here I am. Trying, like the rest of us, to not only survive, but THRIVE over the holiday season.

(I gained 1.5 pounds the week after I got to my 80 lb. mini-goal, possibly due to water weight, but I've lost that again and am back down to 156.5.)

After we all posted our challenges, I felt pretty silly. Maintenance? That's not very exciting! But considering how much most people gain during these six or so weeks, I guess maintenance is pretty important.

Now for my strategy.

1. I'm wearing my, um, tightest pants. Yes, they fit. Just. I picked up a pair of size 10 (size 10!) Liz Claiborne (Liz Claiborne!) pants at the Goodwill about a month back for $4.50. ($4.50! Score!) They just barely fit, and I figure that if I wear them I'll be less likely to over eat.

2. I'm going to Cracker Barrel for lunch. Yes, I am. We're traveling to my MIL's in Georgia, and we can't leave until Thursday morning because I have to work Wednesday. We're stopping for lunch on the way. How is that a strategy, you ask? Simple. I don't have to cook, so I won't be snatching a bite here and there as I do. And I can't just get as much as I want on my plate, so my portions are (relatively) controlled. And, I won't have leftovers hanging around to tempt me.

That night when we get to GA, I can resist the leftovers that will be there, because of the superiority of my lunch meal.

(Oh, did I mention that my MIL, a naturally thin person, is not only very critical of people who are overweight, she also has not one stitch of healthy food around? And that I have to bring my own stash, down to a granola bar to take to breakfast because she eats at Popeye's every morning and there's not a healthy thing on the menu there?)

3. I'm going to be extra-special good on the other meals, so that I can enjoy smaller portions of the foods I only eat once a year when the time comes. Like yesterday, I had some Progresso Light soup for breakfast, because we had an office Thanksgiving lunch. I had a small portion of the hen and dressing for lunch, and loaded up on green beans, and bypassed the mac and cheese all together. And then for dinner, I had a cup of hot and sour soup, which is really better for you (minus the sodium) than you'd think.

I also have a strategy for on-the-road snacking - I pack a separate small cooler full of veggies. And we take individual bags of baked chips for when we want something salty or crunchy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make myself a cup of green tea.

I finally did it!

I finally passed the 80 pound mark!

I lost 1.5 pounds this week, taking me down to 156.5 and 80.5 pounds lost. Perhaps more importantly, I haven't had a gain in about a month. Maybe my plateau is over!

And I continue to be amazed at how different my life is now. It's the little things that I enjoy doing more - like the two hours I spent yesterday at my daughter's school, volunteering at the fall festival. I'm so sore today, but I know I wouldn't have had the energy to keep up with those kids before I lost the weight!

Checking in

I really, really have to apologize for my absence in posting.

I've been reading the other posts, though, and y'all are doing terrific!

I, on the other hand, have been struggling a bit this summer. It's been like a rollercoaster, except I don't have the assurance that the ride will end eventually!

I've been losing and gaining the same couple of pounds all summer. I could attribute it to a lot of factors, but I'm trying everything I know to combat it - mostly weight training, because I know that's the key to getting my metabolism up and running.

Oh, and drinking green tea.

So, congratulations to all you girls who continue to find success - and to those, like me, who have basically been maintaining all summer!

And let me recount a little story that happened to me today.

After having lost nearly 80 pounds, I still sometimes struggle with the "fat girl" mentality. I know I don't see myself the way others see me, and that's something I'm working on. It's nice to know that I'm typing this while wearing size 10 pants, but somehow my brain doesn't always catch up with my body.

(And for the record, I now weigh 158 pounds, a loss of 79 total since August 2005.)

Anyway, I work in a newspaper office, and we are having a county-wide election in a couple of weeks. One of the candidates came in to put in an ad today, and I attempted to make small talk about how cold the weather had gotten. I noticed he was in short sleeves, when it's raining and about 50 degrees outside.

"It's a bit chilly today, isn't it?" I said.

"Not for fat people," he replied.

It should be noted that this man is not huge. He's an ex-highway patrolman, and he's what I'd call stocky and muscular. The comment took me a bit aback, until I realized that he didn't see me as a "fat person!" This was the first time I'd met him, and he didn't know me 80 pounds ago!

It was just enough to keep me going, for one more day at least!

Someone Called Me "Slender" Today!

I went to get my haircut and I was talking about my son to the hairdresser, saying he is over 6 feet tall, but only weighs 120 pounds, and she said, "Wow! That is really thin, but then you're slender, so he must get it from you." I laughed and said, "Well, thank you for saying so, but I'm NOT slender, I just carry my weight well." When I told her my goal weight was 160 she couldn't believe I weighed more than that now.

So, I ran home and took pictures of my body to see if I could see myself as slender. Mostly what I saw was that my clothes were hanging on me. Clothes that used to be a bit snug.


So, I ran inside to get some clothes that are a little more form fitting.



And to remind you what I looked like seven months ago:

Hooray!

I weighed 199.8 pounds this morning! I finally broke through that 200 pound barrier. That feels good.

I'm hoping that I can at least maintain that and go down from there, but I'm worried that the stress of the walk and then the stress of family issues which occurred after the walk is the reason I started losing weight again.

It still feels good, and it motivates me to stay on track. I'm going for a walk today. This will be the first walk in seven months that is just for me, and not for training. A small distinction, but an important one because now that I don't have a great big goal to work for I have to work just because I'm worth the effort.

Down 2 Pounds!

I just had to share my happy news. My period is about to start, yet when I got on the scale today my weight was down a couple of pounds from what my ticker says, which is actually down about 4 pounds from what it said before this weekend. I'm not changing my ticker yet, because that's bound to change as my body adjusts to a normal routine again after all the walking and eating this weekend.

I'm encouraged, though, because I was told to expect to be a few pounds heavier after the walk. They really ply you with lots of carbs and protein, more calories than normal, when you're a walker. So, I'm just feeling happy about the weight loss today. I hope it's not temporary.

Now that the walk is over I want to concentrate a little more on making better food choices. I decided before the walk that it was okay to focus on the training, and not worry so much about the eating, but now it's back down to business! I wonder if I can be out of the 200's before my anniversary trip.

Chugging along

You know how summer is less busy around some parts?

Those aren't the parts in which I work.

We're much busier here at the newspaper in the summer, and this year has been even worse. In addition to my regular work, I've had three specials and a magazine to produce.

Which is part of the reason I haven't posted here lately. The other part? I've stopped.

Dead in my tracks.

Actually, more than stopped. I've backtracked somewhat.

I spent the whole month of July and the first week of August at 159. Then, I gained 1.5 pounds, taking me up to 160.5. Not a huge gain, but a gain nonetheless. And this past weigh-in brought another week of maintaining that gain.

This week, I "feel" like I'm doing better. I know we can't go on feelings, but really, I have been eating better. More fruits and vegetables. More water. More incidental activity (read: extra trips around the store) worked into my routine.

I'll have to wait until Thursday to see if it has done any good. I know we're all in this thing together, but I haven't felt like I "deserved" to post here if I wasn't getting anywhere with my efforts. I mean, what I've been doing is obviously not working - who wants to hear from me?

But, then I remember - this is a journey, and for whatever the reason, we all reach these plateaus from one time to another. The important thing is that we keep going.

The odd thing is, people are encouraging me to not give up, but I don't even know what that looks like! No matter how many people tell me that I look fine, that I don't need to lose more weight, I know I have to keep going and get off this last 25 pounds.

I've adopted the mantra of the Little Engine That Could: I think I can! I think I can!

Healthy lunch update

Thanks so much to all of you who offered suggestions for healthy lunches for my 5-year-old. She started school this past week, so I had my first opportunity to try some out.


She kept coming home with just a little of her lunch eaten, and I asked her why. Seems she's sharing Doritos with a girl in her class! Now, Anna Marie loves Doritos so much that she'll eat them first and foremost, no matter what else is put in front of her.

I did convince her to eat most of her own food first before sharing the chips. And, she insists that the chips are offered to her, she's not asking for them!

Well, Thursday night I asked her what color the bag was the chips came in. At our house, we never buy any chips that aren't baked - Anna Marie has had the original Doritos maybe a handful of times in her life, and always at somewhere other than home. She said, "It's yellow, like it's supposed to be." Big sigh from me! And then:

"Did you think they weren't baked?"

Egads! She's on to me!

The school has snack time in the afteroon, and I have to send a snack for her. Thankfully, they emphasize healthy foods - they won't have any argument from me!

Oh, and an update on my weight, which really isn't an update at all - I'm stuck at 159 for about the fifth week in a row. I even basically took last week off, because it was my birthday and the first day of school and an election I had to work until midnight to cover, and I still maintained!

Back to basics this week!

Another 10 Gone, FINALLY!

Since I'm another 10 pounds down (finally!!!) since the last time I posted before and after pics, it's time to do it again.

234.2 lbs on 3/8 - 204.4 lbs on 8/9

And apparently Ive grown shorter too! I know these are the most unflattering pictures I could take of myself, but I wanted a good way to compare and see the changes in my body. Now if I could just learn to stand in the same place. Ah well.

After a little gentle prodding from Jules

I've come back to update.

I guess I just got a little discouraged last month, because I went through one of those lose-two-gain-two cycles. You know the one. The one where you gain and lose the same pound or two for a month or so.

I hate those.

Anyway, at the end of June we went to Georgia for my sister-in-law's wedding. It was the first time I'd missed a weigh in, other than Thanksgiving when there was no meeting, in nearly two years. And I was scared to death.

But you know what? I still lost three pounds over that two weeks! And then another pound the week after that! And then nothing this week, but that's ok once in a while too.

I did walk in my town's annual Five Star Races (I did the two-mile walk) and it ended badly. I suffered from heat exhaustion, and had to quit early. It took me two days to get over it. I was so devistated, but it just reminded me that I need to take more precautions next year - like walking outside instead of inside, so my body gets used to the heat!

And I did the "butter" thing on the sidebar too. I hope I did it right - does 78 pounds equal 312 sticks of butter? I'm slightly math challenged - which is why I don't handle our family finances!

I Walked My Longest Distance today!

16.5 miles logged today. We had only planned 14, but the trail ended up being 7.7 miles long, not 7, and we made a round trip with a stop for lunch at the halfway point. I'll tell ya, though, I was hating life for that last 3 miles. I'm feeling okay now, though, and going out for Karaoke tonight!

Oh, and a quick update: I spent the last couple of weeks in a weird funk that cost me a 3.5 lb gain. I blogged about it fairly extensively on my own blog. I'm back on track, though, and thankful this episode only lasted a short while. My ticker is accurate, as much as it hurt to have to ADD pounds to it instead of subtract.

Oh, I forgot to mention that we backtracked and walked over an extra mile looking for the expensive sunglasses I lost. Bet you were thinking I'm math challenged since 7.7 and 7.7 don't exactly add up to 16.5. Never found the sunglasses.

w00t

I'm down another couple of pounds (Actually, 3!) this week. w00t! <--- geeky gamer/techie term expressing great satisfaction.



Time out for a picture on one of my walks. This is my favorite trail on which we walk.

I Need a Diet Coach

In the book I'm reading (The Beck Diet Solution) the next step of the program is to find a diet coach. It occurred to me that coaching each other is exactly what this blog was set up for so I'm wondering if you will all be my coaches.
Here is what the book says about my "meetings" with my coach:

"Ideally, schedule a regular time to talk (face-to-face if possible), at least once a week and then in between by phone or by e-mail on an as-needed basis--daily, if necessary.

During your scheduled weekly meetings, you should talk about:

• Your change in weight during the past week. You don't have to state your actual weight, just how much the scale went up or down.
• The successes you had during the past week. Use the to-do lists at the end of each day to report on what you've done. Mention anything else that you deserve credit for, so your diet coach can positively reinforce what you've done.
• The struggles you had in the past weel. Talk about your cravings, slipups, or life stressors. Mention anything that might interfere with executing the steps of this program. Ask your coach to help you find ways to deal with setbacks and challenges in the future. Report your sabotaging thoughts and ask for help with how to respond to them."

The book goes on to outline other times I should initiate contact with my coach such as before entering a high-risk situation, like a party.


Right now I'm working, as per the program, on eating when sitting down only, eating slowly and mindfully, reading my advantages response card at least twice daily, and giving myself credit for all helpful dieting behaviors. (Good job me, for writing this post and asking for help!)

I'm finding that many of the behavior modifications and the diet preparations in the first week of this program are things that I've already dealt with. Like for today I'm supposed to work on preparing my environment for a diet. I did that a long time ago. If I had Doritos and Cheetos in my house I would not have lost 38 pounds so far!

So what do you say? Will you all be my coaches? I thought I'd step up my accountability here and report not only my successes, but my mistakes, and make Thursday my official day to check in.

Oh, and I updated my ticker today. I'm down 2.6 pounds this week! The book has really helped me refocus and I'm feeling more motivated again.

Weighing in (and other things)

So. I gained a pound two weeks ago, right?

I thought "Oh, it's water weight. It's my 'time' and it'll be gone next week."

Nope.

It stayed, and brought three of its closest friends.

I don't know how I gained four pounds in two weeks, other than a nibble here, a nibble there, and a general feeling of malaise.

But I'm back on track now. I'm back to moving more, even if it means all I have time for is parking at the end of the Wal Mart parking lot or an extra trip around the store. I'm back to focusing on putting more "good stuff" in to my body, and less processed junk.

On another, slightly related note:

I've noticed that my five-year-old daughter has talked a lot lately about being "thin." I don't know where this is coming from, honestly, because 1. I don't talk that way about myself or anyone else, and 2. I try my best not to talk about my weight in front of her. Yes, she's gone to a couple of WW meetings with me, several months ago, but she never stays in the room with me (we meet at a church gym) during the lecture - she's always playing in the hall.

She asked me once, about a year ago, why I went to WW. I told her it was because I didn't take care of myself when I was younger, and it caused me to not be healthy. But now, I was doing things to make myself healthier - eating better and exercising.

And that's what I tell her now, when we go to eat fast food and I order her fruit and milk with her kids meal instead of fries and Sprite - that we need to eat better so our bodies can be healthy. Those fries and Sprite are "sometimes" foods.

How do we, as parents, and parents of girls in particular, keep the focus on "health" and not "thinness?" She told me the other day that she was glad to be thin, and I told her that it was more important to be healthy - because there are plenty of thin people who aren't healthy, and plenty of people who may not be considered "thin" but take good care of themselves.

Any ideas on how to refocus her on health, and not a body size? I'm slightly panicking here, and hoping it isn't all my fault!

Progress Pics

Here I am at 234.2 pounds on March 8th and 214 pounds on May 24th


It's maybe a little hard to see the differences because I'm wearing sweat pants in yesterday's picture, but I think you can see the difference better in the side view.

(Finally) weighing in

Sorry I've been MIA the past couple of weeks.

Two weeks ago, I had a gain of a pound, taking me up to 162.5. Then last week, I lost 2.5, taking me down to 160.

Yes, part of the reason I stayed away that week after my gain was shame and disappointment on my part. Which I shouldn't have had, because I knew that I was letting "life" get in the way (family problems, etc) and wasn't taking proper care of myself.

Even after over a year and a half on my weight-loss journey, I still fall sometimes. I think it helps keep me from getting too comfortable and complacent, and reminds me that this is something I'll have to deal with every meal, every day, for the rest of my life.

Here's to taking things one step at a time.

Weighing in

I had a feeling I'd had a good weight-loss week, and then it was confirmed at my weigh in.

I reached the -75 pound mark last night.

I now weigh 161.5.

The closer I get to my goal, the more concerned I become about keeping it off. Will I become just another statistic? Or will I "buck the odds," so to speak, and maintain my loss?

I guess I've got a few more months to figure that out.