This weekend, I should have run as a fat girl. When you run a race, they frequently have "Athena" and "Clydesdale" divisions for people of a certain weight - for women it's usually 150 lbs., for men 190 lbs. Now, I'm 5'10" and at a weight of 150, people start wanting to feed me more and begin to subtly inquire as to whether I am eating enough or perhaps might have a problem. (Although, best thing someone said to me was on New Year's Day when a skinny woman that I run with was absolutely stunned when I told her that I qualified as Athena because she thought that I weighed well under the 150 cut-off; HAH!)
But even though I more than qualify for the Athena category, I very seldom register for races (okay, I've never registered for a race) in that class. Part of it is because I would like to be measured and ranked against my age group, not among people who might otherwise be considered limited by their physical condition (i.e., weight). The other part is simply not wanting to break down and be labeled heavy in the results lists.
For the record, however, this weekend I set a personal record for the 5K, knocked 3 minutes off my previous best time, and placed 15th out of 68 runners in my age group. If I had been running as an Athena, however, I would have won. That weighs on me a little since part of me hates the idea of embracing the idea of accepting being heavy as a normal part of who I am; on the other hand, look at what I would have accomplished - I would have run against people in similar condition carrying a similar weight and I would have gone home with the award.
I'm a little torn between wanting to be proud of what I would have accomplished had I owned up to my weight, and being proud of the fact that I deliberately choose not to accept "Clydesdale" or "Athena" as my primary description. It's a strange feeling.
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7 comments:
OMG! At first I thought you were saying that the skinny women were in the "Athena" class and the women over 150lbs were the "Clydesdales". I was livid! lol
I'd be uncomfortable with the classifying of people by weight too, but on the other hand it's not exactly fair to be competing with the long lean racehorses either. I see your dilemma.
Oh, Jenn, Athena is the nicest. Sometimes the women over 150 are also Clydesdales or, almost as bad, Fillies. I personally hate being labeled livestock, but it gets worse than that. Sometimes there are Clydesdale, Rhino and Hippo divisions. I guess the race organizers somehow feel that they're being diplomatic because the last two are generally limited to men, but I know plenty of large guys who would be pretty hurt by that as well.
Wow, the races I've been in have only put me in age categories... I know that I would NOT appreciate being compared to live stock either!
Good job on your race Lisa. You are just cruising right along! And you know that we all consider you a winner no matter what category that you put yourself in. : )
I was surprised to hear they classify by weight, but then realized it was MY issue, not theirs.
Wrestling is broken down by weight class. So is boxing. Many sports really factor in the amount of effort that is necessary for two runners to achieve the same ends. I think its to keep it fair.
To be fair, Lisa....You won. That is FLIPPING AWESOME!!! You won against people who chose to take the weight separation (no matter how they feel about it - we don't know?)
On the other hand, you aren't competing against the people in your grade. You are competing against people who are in a different one. You didn't win there, per se, but you beat your own personal best.
When we do stuff, it not only is for ourselves (you beating your own record) or for others, no matter what class we compete in, but many other things come into the idea of judging ourselves.
Holding ourselves to what we perceive as a higher standard can push us to succeed, or make us feel badly. You wrote - "torn between wanting to be proud....and being proud...." That sounds like a win :-)
You ROCK!
Ack! Yeah those labels suck.
Good words, Elicia. Soak those us, Lisa.
Elicia:
It's not so simple that "I fall in that category and not the other." When you are separated by age - which is the default category - the racers are being handicapped based off a known fact (that you slow as you age) just like they are handicapping the Athenas by weight (although not age). The person who won the Athena category was in her late 40s - under most circumstances it would be unfair to make someone in her late 40s race against someone in her late 20s because I would totally have the advantage. Yet that's how the category works.
The race essentially comes down to a question of which handicapping system I want to be a part of. The one that's not as forgiving - where I race against people of all sizes that are my age and may not place as well as some who are lighter - is what I've chosen; over the system where I am in the same general category of energy expended over the race (to move our weight) but where I have the advantage of being one of the youngest runners out there.
I am torn between the idea of accomplishment, and the idea that it might be hollow if I feel like it came not on my own merit but by an advantage given to me through a flaw in the system. In that respect, I'm glad that I didn't compete as an Athena. At the same time, though, I have worked hard and it would have been nice to take home the award. I guess I'll just have to work harder to earn it in my age group someday.
I get it....well, its a bummer the way they worked it out - but you're a winner in my book either way you cut it!
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